I found this while trawling through old files I'd saved before my mission! Here is a declaration of platonic love, raw, unedited form it's pre-2014 glory, complete with a photo that's inspired me for years, and must've been in part behind this declaration.
I Will Always Love You
When I was younger (ironic, how quickly that phrase becomes a staple, even at my age) I don't think I really had a solid definition of love. It was murky, at best. A vague notion. I don't think that's weird, per-say. It's just the way it was. I think if I defined it then, I would speak about wanting and liking and caring and spending time with someone. It's certainly one of the ways I viewed my love for you. That was all there was to it - I like you, I want to be around you, I care about you, etc. It was simple like that... like me. In my childish naivety I declared "I Will Always Love You."
As our relationship continued, it grew darker and more stressed, as a general rule. My internal definition of love warped to something like "prevent pain, alleviate hurts and loneliness, or at least share it." This was incredibly unhealthy, and led to mutual cutting, one taking responsibility for the other's happiness, etc. While empathy is important, hurting yourself for somebody is a twisted, perverse way to show love. Despite any personal reservations I may have had (I doubt there were any) my definition of love changed. Through tears and blood I whispered "I Will Always Love You..."
I used to get angry with myself, or embarrassed, when I found myself thinking of you. After all, I was over you! I had reached catharsis, and wasn't desperate for you any longer. I had come to terms with our going separate ways. But I realized... I still love you. Don't misunderstand - I don't want to date you. I don't want to marry you - no offense. But I understand now, that love is more than that. Love IS compassion. Empathy. But it's also so much more, in ways I can't describe, and will always continue to learn more about. Most importantly, it's healthy. It leads to kindness and good deeds. It leads to concern for well-being, and pride in happiness. And now, calmly and with peace of mind, full of compassion, understanding, and acceptance, I can simply state "I Will Always Love You," now and forever!
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