Personal Journal 1

AN: Due to the nature of these assignments as "Personal Journals," they will be personal in their content, and fairly unprofessional in their writing and execution. I also suggest looking up the pieces mentioned in my journals, because they are intended to be responsive in nature. These Personal Journals are for my 12th Grade English class through BYU.

"I had a strong emotional response to “The Journey” by Mary Oliver. From the first line, I felt that I had discovered – through a school course, surprisingly enough – something that became very special to me, very quickly. I like how the day of realization doesn’t come abruptly, in a single blinding epiphany. Instead, it’s a realization that dawns on you in its unabridged splendor, as evidenced by the first two lines: “[o]ne day you finally knew what you had to do…”

"I’m also intrigued by the feelings of potential guilt that are present, when you follow your own voice. The poem says “you felt the old tug at your ankles” and “‘[m]end my life!’ each voice cried.” It’s very much possible that when you listen to yourself that there are feelings of guilt, of unfulfilled responsibilities, and of letting down those who are counting on you. The speaker in this poem demonstrates immense courage, because they’re clearly set in their habits. The word “old” in the phrase “old tug at your ankles” tells me that they’re used to succoring the various voices in the house, or even that the speaker has disembarked from this journey before, at the stirrings of guilt and remorse.

"In particular, I’ve always felt that obligation to “mend [other’s lives].” I feel a responsibility towards others around me, and that self-perceived obligation is apparent by the number of church duties I volunteer for, and even in the sillier aspects, like constantly bringing cookies to seminary when asked by others. I feel terrible when I don’t fulfill the responsibilities I take upon myself, so it amazes me that this person was able to follow their inner voice, regardless of past habits and perceived duties. This feat becomes even more inhuman when the details of the arduous journey are given to us: fierce wind, fallen Mother Nature, and the deep darkness that always accompanies the latest part of the night.

"I love the reward that’s given for this Odyssean task, and how it’s symbolized. The burning stars in the 25^th line remind me of a couple of different songs that have also affected me greatly. Interestingly, they’re acting in the same capacity both times. In “Diver” by Nico Touches the Walls, it describes a self-realizing journey like this one, complete with its own trials. And, in the final verse, the song says: “[a] lost swan was floating in the starry night sky…” While the interpretation of what that lost swan represents is definitely up for debate, I’ve always pictured it as a constellation. I viewed it as a symbol that the stars burn their brightest and most hopeful when they’re united. The second song, “Midnight Orchestra” by Aqua Timez is another life journey describer. While I could quote the whole song all day long, I’ll just quote the relevant line: “the stars sit in the sky. The stars unite and play their symphony…” I love music. And I love stars. The imagery of stars making music (I believe it’d sound like a music box melody) absolutely enthralls me. Once again, the stars serve as a cue that you’re on the right path… that things get better. That you can get better.

"The end of the poem presents a text book example of a strong ending. It leaves you thinking, hours after you’ve finished reading it and signed out of your school course. It’s a sad thing when one doesn’t recognize their own voice at first, but increasingly common in a world where everybody is always in our ear. At least the speaker does eventually recognize it, and bonds with it. The last phrase of the poem is controversial to me. Is your life really the only one you can save? Sometimes I think otherwise. It’s my dream to change the world – to make everybody a bit happier, a bit more in tune with the things that are important, with the meaningful things in life. But I can’t deny that people are free to make their own decisions. I can agree with Mary Oliver on one point; you cannot save anybody’s life until you’ve saved your own. A drowning man cannot swim another man to shore; neither can a starved man share his bread with another. After reading this poem, it’s reminded me of many of my own weaknesses and problems, both mental and physical. And because of this poem, I’ve remembered that I can’t help others until I’ve helped myself. If I want to save others, or, in keeping in line with this poem, cease to be one of the distracting voices, I have to improve. So I will."