Legacy Post: The Formation of Jury Systems in Greece and Japan

What a cute little article. I completely forgot this existed.

The Formation of Jury Systems in both Japan and Greece, and whom could Serve on Them

     In America, most court decisions are reached by a jury. In many other countries, there are either no courts, or court decisions are made by a judge. In Greece, there were originally no courts – people would settle disputes themselves, usually with bloodshed. As time passed, the Greeks developed laws and eventually a court system that was extremely similar to modern America’s. In Japan, people are expected to settle their problems without a court, to avoid embarrassment. Courts with jurors are a relatively new development for them; having had judges makes important decisions for centuries.
     For about 250 years after the Dark Ages, Greece had no courts or even laws. Citizens solved disputes themselves. For example, if one man murdered another, the murdered man’s family would take it upon themselves to murder the murderer. This led to drawn out, bloody disputes. Draco the lawgiver created a system of laws that were extremely harsh and specific. Draco’s laws are the origin of the term “Draconian,” meaning unreasonably harsh. Solon, an Athenian lawmaker, took Draco’s laws and refined them, and made it so that citizens could interact with the courts. Solon only kept one of Draco’s penalties (exile for murder) and placed the upgraded laws into four basic categories:
Tort laws, for when somebody harms you or your property. There were various penalties for infractions of these laws, ranging from fines to exile.

• Family laws, which regulated the behavior of men and women. There were no penalties for these, but the head of the family was expected to enforce them. 
• Public laws, which set rules for how public services were provided and how public actions should be carried out. 
• Procedural laws, which told judges exactly how to carry out the law, down to the most intimate detail (“Laws of Ancient Greece”). 

     As there originally were no laws or judges, disputes would sometimes consist of two people begging an affluent citizen to have the other beaten or killed. Under Solon, their system evolved. For court cases, there were no professional judges, lawyers or prosecutors. The accused and the accuser would both make a speech in a large theatre, about why they were innocent, and why they were guilty, respectively. Then, the jury of 500 people would vote in support of one side. Votes were tallied, and the side with more votes won. If the accused was determined to be guilty, the two parties would make speeches once again, on what type of punishment would be appropriate. The jury then voted, and the majority chose the punishment.
     Cases were normally solved within a day, and any citizen could be a member of the jury. This sounds all-inclusive, but Greece had stringent requirements for citizenship: citizens had to be male, own property, and born from at least two generations of Greeks. Depending on how much land a person owned, and how wealthy they were, they had more rights than others (“Greek Law Courts”).
     During the 8th Century in Japan, judges used a form of divination to determine the guilt of a suspect. Suspects had to remove a stone from a pot of boiling water. If their hand had blisters, they were guilty. If not, they were innocent. Subjects of daimyos and shoguns were encouraged to seek all other forms of settlement before coming forward to them. During the Edo period, there were inns specifically for settling litigation, called kujiyado. The inn owners were the Edo equivalent of a lawyer. Nearly all disputes they handled were over money. During the Meiji period, where there was widespread reforms of public behavior and government, Japan introduced a civil code, commercial code, and other laws that were drawn from those in France and Germany. After a huge number of law suits in the 1920’s and 30’s over money, the government passed laws that required people to seek other forms of settlement first. Japan had a jury system for 15 years (1928-1943) but those were abolished by the military government that had taken power in Japan. In the new system, a panel of three judges decided trials. Under this system, citizens had little to no say, and there was almost always a conviction. In recent years, a lay-judge system has been introduced (“Legal System in Japan: History, Judges, Lawyers, Long Trials, Convictions”).
     In the lay-judge system, lay judges, who are effectively jurors, are selected from eligible voters to aid the judges in court. The panel of three judges provides guidance and help to the lay-judges, of whom there are six. The lay-judges have a responsibility to investigate and question the facts of the case, and so have more responsibility than average jurors. While there are concerns about the effectiveness of the lay-judge system, especially in regards to sentencing involving the death penalty, overall the effects of the system have been positive in Japan. Japanese citizens feel that societal walls are beginning to degrade because average people can spend weeks as equals to senior judges (Anna Watanabe).
     While they both started off without a specific set of laws and courts – one deciding guilt by boiling water, the other by might – both Japan and Greece have evolved to involve their lowliest citizens. And while it’ll always be a question of which system works better, it’s already obvious that both countries were, and are, off for the better.

Works Cited

1. Sands, Earl. “Laws of Ancient Greece.” Canadian Law. 13 May 2013. http://www.canadianlawsite.ca/AncientGreek.htm

2. Carr, Karen. “Greek Law Courts.” Kidipede – History and Science for Kids. 7 Sep 2012. Portland State University. 13 May 2013. http://www.historyforkids.org/learn/greeks/government/courts.htm

3. Hays, Jeffrey. “Legal System in Japan: History, Judges, Lawyers, Long Trials, Convictions.” Facts and Details. Jan 2013. 13 May 2013. Web. http://factsanddetails.com/japan.php?itemid=807&subcatid=147

4. Watanabe, Anna. “Japan’s Lay Judge System to be Revised.” Asian Correspondent. 3 Jun 2012. 13 May 2013. Web. http://asiancorrespondent.com/83631/japans-lay-judge-system-to-be-revised/

Give Credit Where It's Due; or, How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Give Self-Validation

Today, while unpacking I stumbled across something incalculably valuable to me. It was a box of sentimental keepsakes ranging from when I was 12 years old, to shortly before my mission. I hadn't looked inside of it for over two years, so a few of the items inside stunned me. 

One relic, in particular, taught me a powerful lesson about myself. 

I need to give myself some credit. So often, I deny myself victory and reject positivities. Unworthiness, uncertainty, lingering regrets -- these were just a few of the thieves that have ravaged my past. Some, real and deserved; many, an illusion that I conjured to shield myself from being disappointed in others, or, worse, hurt by them. As a result, I've viewed a lot of my history with an overly-critical eye. I've always resisted acknowledging that other people made mistakes that hurt me --- both passively and actively. As a result, I shouldered blame for every mishap and misstep, imagining that it was a form of love and noble sacrifice(?). Lately though, I've come to see th past, present, and future with a far more mature and balanced world view. 

The item that shook me with its mere presence? A yellow, prismic tube of chapstick. Flavor: Juicy Fruit. It was clearly well used; and at this point in time is older than some of my siblings. Oddly enough, despite its worn appearance, there's quite a bit of Chapstick left in the tube. Seeing this reminded me that I've done a lot of good, and that in spite of everything, I did everything I could to save a life. I've never given myself credit -- I never thought I wanted it -- but as I come to see things more clearly -- as I come to see myself more clearly -- I've realized that this is something I deserve, something that will help me be more self-assured and stable, something I've desperately needed, but denied myself out of a twisted sense of humility and self-degradation. 

No longer. It's about time I gave myself some credit. 

I've done a lot of good. I've been a really good friend to some people; people who I doubt even think of me as a friend, funnily enough. I listen and help and believe in people. That's just the way I am. I smile and try to be fun when I'm with friends, even though I worry about whether we're even friends the other 99% of the time, and feel insecure.
Even more, in the face of what I used to consider my biggest failures and weaknesses, I accomplished more good for a person I cared about than I could (and probably still can't really) comprehend. I have to take a moment and remind myself that in a lot of ways, I was a catalyst -- something that sparked a huge change, a monumental chain reaction that shifted a life. I smile to myself as I remember that I was there through that -- in my own, broken, limited way, I gave all I was and could be in an attempt to support. And before I slip into hypothetical scenarios, I force a smile that becomes genuine when I realize that I've been a first responder, a security blanket, a stress toy all rolled in one. For somebody who often thinks he's dreadfully normal, I've done some pretty incredible things -- things that I've never accepted nor given credit for. I've always been so hungry for validation, so desperate to be told I'm doing the right thing that when the person I staked all of that on fell away, they took all the good things I'd done with them.
But not anymore! That chapstick is a physical reminder of who I am. I am kind. I am a giver. I do good things without thanks, and I care deeply for people who may not always feel the same. I'm sensitive and passionate. I'm also a compulsive guilt seeker and I tend to shoulder blame for other's people's actions in vain attempts to protect them. I'm self-critical, and often self-deprecating. That's okay; I'm growing and I'm learning and I'm lighter and freer than ever. The more I understand how and why I am who I am, the more I'm able to guard my weaknesses and fortify my strengths.

I'm worthy of rescue, whether it's from myself, my memories, or my weaknesses. I am a good man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uao5CImdnsE&list=PL4E784EC0770935C0&index=6

Normalcy

A few weeks ago I had a brief, flitting brush with danger. I had been bitten by a tick, and when I removed it, my ankle immediately became swollen. My mother was worried that I'd contracted lyme

disease. After seeing how bloated my ankle was becoming, I was pretty worried too. However, I knew that it wouldn't be lyme disease. I knew I was safe, for one simple reason: I have been, and am, a very ordinary person. It's odd, that the stigma I used to punish myself with (normal, average, ordinary, nothing special) is also a shield that protects me from catastrophe. I never really believed I'd get lyme disease because that would be quite... special, which means it's completely inappropriate for me. That's what I told myself, and that's what ended up being the truth. It was a minor infection; no lyme disease.

I realized that I use this label as a coping mechanism, at times. It's certainly been unhealthy in the past; denying unhealthy feelings because they're not normal, or expected from somebody like me is wrong. It's not healthy. That behavior in and of itself is not normal. 

Old habits die hard, I suppose. I've made a lot of progress -- I don't use that defense as much, and I've made peace with myself over my individuality and my own unique flaws. Isn't it ironic? It's so easy to spot your own unique weaknesses, but it's impossibly difficult to find your personal strengths. 

The Journey by Mary Oliver

I read this poem and wrote about my reaction as part of my English coursework in Freshman year. I still love this poem, and I think I might post a modern reaction later. For now, I hope you enjoy a glimpse into who I was when I was younger.

Mary Oliver - The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice – – –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations – – –
though their melancholy
was terrible. It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do – – – determined to save
the only life you could save.

Response Journal 1
Austin Lynn

I had a strong emotional response to “The Journey” by Mary Oliver. From the first line, I felt that I had discovered – through a school course, surprisingly enough – something that became very special to me, very quickly. I like how the day of realization doesn’t come abruptly, in a single blinding epiphany. Instead, it’s a realization that dawns on you in its unabridged splendor, as evidenced by the first two lines: “[o]ne day you finally knew what you had to do…”

I’m also intrigued by the feelings of potential guilt that are present, when you follow your own voice. The poem says “you felt the old tug at your ankles” and “‘[m]end my life!’ each voice cried.” It’s very much possible that when you listen to yourself that there are feelings of guilt, of unfulfilled responsibilities, and of letting down those who are counting on you. The speaker in this poem demonstrates immense courage, because they’re clearly set in their habits. The word “old” in the phrase “old tug at your ankles” tells me that they’re used to succoring the various voices in the house, or even that the speaker has disembarked from this journey before, at the stirrings of guilt and remorse.

In particular, I’ve always felt that obligation to “mend [other’s lives].” I feel a responsibility towards others around me, and that self-perceived obligation is apparent by the number of church duties I volunteer for, and even in the sillier aspects, like constantly bringing cookies to seminary when asked by others. I feel terrible when I don’t fulfill the responsibilities I take upon myself, so it amazes me that this person was able to follow their inner voice, regardless of past habits and perceived duties. This feat becomes even more inhuman when the details of the arduous journey are given to us: fierce wind, fallen Mother Nature, and the deep darkness that always accompanies the latest part of the night.

I love the reward that’s given for this Odyssean task, and how it’s symbolized. The burning stars in the 25th line remind me of a couple of different songs that have also affected me greatly. Interestingly, they’re acting in the same capacity both times. In “Diver” by Nico Touches the Walls, it describes a self-realizing journey like this one, complete with its own trials. And, in the final verse, the song says: “[a] lost swan was floating in the starry night sky…” While the interpretation of what that lost swan represents is definitely up for debate, I’ve always pictured it as a constellation. I viewed it as a symbol that the stars burn their brightest and most hopeful when they’re united. The second song, “Midnight Orchestra” by Aqua Timez is another life journey describer. While I could quote the whole song all day long, I’ll just quote the relevant line: “the stars sit in the sky. The stars unite and play their symphony…” I love music. And I love stars. The imagery of stars making music (I believe it’d sound like a music box melody) absolutely enthralls me. Once again, the stars serve as a cue that you’re on the right path… that things get better. That you can get better.

The end of the poem presents a text book example of a strong ending. It leaves you thinking, hours after you’ve finished reading it and signed out of your school course. It’s a sad thing when one doesn’t recognize their own voice at first, but increasingly common in a world where everybody is always in our ear. At least the speaker does eventually recognize it, and bonds with it. The last phrase of the poem is controversial to me. Is your life really the only one you can save? Sometimes I think otherwise. It’s my dream to change the world – to make everybody a bit happier, a bit more in tune with the things that are important, with the meaningful things in life. But I can’t deny that people are free to make their own decisions. I can agree with Mary Oliver on one point; you cannot save anybody’s life until you’ve saved your own. A drowning man cannot swim another man to shore; neither can a starved man share his bread with another. After reading this poem, it’s reminded me of many of my own weaknesses and problems, both mental and physical. And because of this poem, I’ve remembered that I can’t help others until I’ve helped myself. If I want to save others, or, in keeping in line with this poem, cease to be one of the distracting voices, I have to improve. So I will.

Notes on Exodus

No Facebook memories here; just some excerpts form my study journals, ranging form June 7 - June 12th, in the year 2015. Exodus is a notoriously dull book of scripture, especially when it comes to those passages regarding the building of the temple. For reasons I cannot fathom, I was blessed with an outpouring of insight and spirit when reading these passages, and gleaned much more than I had on previous readings. These passages are intricate in their symbolism, powerful in repetition, and solemn in their implications.


Exodus 17:7 -- Is the Lord among us, or not?

7 And he called the name of the place Massah, and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the Lord, saying, Is the Lord among us, or not?

The Israelites failed to understand that there would still be challenges and hardships on their journey. Because they assumed everything would go smoothly, and quickly, they murmured everytime a problem arose, doubting whether or not God supported them. They faced this problem time and time again because they held mistaken expectations. 

Exodus 18:20-22 -- Great Matters and Hard Causes 

20 And thou shalt teach them ordinances and laws, and shalt shew them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do.

21 Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens:

22 And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee.

A high priest's role is to represent the people to God, and the prophet's role is to teach the people God's ordinances and laws; the path they must walk, and the work they must do. They are also judges of "great matters" and "hard causes' -- things that are too hard for individuals to bear.

Exodus 25:8 - Temples Sanctify 

8 And let them make me a sanctuary; that I may dwell among them.

The purpose of constructing temples is so that Jehovah may dwell among His people. This is not only accomplished by the construction of holy temples, but by the sanctification of the people that comes through the process of construction: dedication to the Lord, and the offering of time, worldly possessions, and one's own strength. "Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven:" one of those being the sanctification of our hearts. 

Exodus 25:22 - God's Message and Messengers

22 And there I will meet with thee, and I will commune with thee from above the mercy seat, from between the two cherubims which are upon the ark of the testimony, of all things which I will give thee in commandment unto the children of Israel.

In this scripture, the ark of the testimony holding the tablets of law represents scriptures, while the cherubim represent angels. The mercy seat is symbolic of the Atonement, which brought us mercy. God has spoken to His children in all ages through angels, and the scriptures, all centered on the promise of the Atonement.

Exodus 25:30 - Bread

30 And thou shalt set upon the table shewbread before me always.

Jehovah - the Bread of Life - can be with His people through the temple. The ultimate purpose of the temple is to bring us into the presence of God. 

Exodus 26:33 - The Veil

33 ¶And thou shalt hang up the veil under the taches, that thou mayest bring in thither within the veil the ark of the testimony: and the veil shall divide unto you between the holy place and the most holy.

The Tabernacle's veil acknowledges the reality of the Fall, and our ultimate inability to return to God (on our own), but the shewbread is placed without the veil; i.e. on the outside. Despite the Fall, Jesus Christ offers His presence to us. 

Exodus 27:20 - Lamps 

20 ¶And thou shalt command the children of Israel, that they bring thee pure oil olive beaten for the light, to cause the lamp to burn always.

Just as Jehovah was literally the Israelites' constant light in the wilderness, the Israelites were to keep a lamp burning always, perhaps in remembrance of the Lord's sacred mercies which never cease. 

Exodus 28:10-12 - The High Priest

10 Six of their names on one stone, and the other six names of the rest on the other stone, according to their birth.

11 With the work of an engraver in stone, like the engravings of a signet, shalt thou engrave the two stones with the names of the children of Israel: thou shalt make them to be set in pouches of gold.

12 And thou shalt put the two stones upon the shoulders of the ephod for stones of memorial unto the children of Israel: and Aaron shall bear their names before the Lord upon his two shoulders for a memorial.

As the ultimate High Priest, Christ bears all of Israel on His shoulders, to bring us into the presence of God. He has graven our names in stone. He knows us individually, and will not forget nor neglect us. 

Exodus 28:29 - Atoning Love

29 And Aaron shall bear the names of the children of Israel in the breastplate of judgment upon his heart, when he goeth in unto the holy place, for a memorial before the Lord continually.

Christ atones for us in love, settling our judgment, bringing Israel (those that accept the gospel) back into the Father's presence, to dwell with Him for eternity. 

Exodus 29:30 - Judgment 

30 ¶And thou shalt put in the breastplate of judgment the Urim and the Thummim; and they shall be upon Aaron’s heart, when he goeth in before the Lord: and Aaron shall bear the judgment of the children of Israel upon his heart before the Lord continually.

Christ bears our judgment in His heart. He has atoned for us, and so He can bear responsibility for us in the presence of God. Christ remembers the price He paid for us, and what He suffered to pay it: He remembers our sorrows, our sicknesses, our failings and weaknesses. He understands us, and will bear those things with us.

Exodus 28:38 - An Holy Offering

38 And it shall be upon Aaron’s forehead, that Aaron may bear the iniquity of the holy things, which the children of Israel shall hallow in all their holy gifts; and it shall be always upon his forehead, that they may be accepted before the Lord.

The High Priest is sanctified, as an offering to the Lord, atoning for those who have "hallowed" their iniquity -- that is, those who have repented. 

Exodus 29:10-14 - Bearing the burden

10 And thou shalt cause a bullock to be brought before the tabernacle of the congregation: and Aaron and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the bullock.

11 And thou shalt kill the bullock before the Lord, by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

12 And thou shalt take of the blood of the bullock, and put it upon the horns of the altar with thy finger, and pour all the blood beside the bottom of the altar.

13 And thou shalt take all the fat that covereth the inwards, and the caul that is above the liver, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is upon them, and burn them upon the altar.

14 But the flesh of the bullock, and his skin, and his dung, shalt thou burn with fire without the camp: it is a sin offering.

The High Priest transferred Israel's sins to an animal that was sacrificed to the Lord, and the remnants of it were completely erased. In other words, they repented, and by sacrifice all traces of their transgression were forgotten. Through repentance, Jesus Christ's Atonement makes complete recovery possible. In the words of Boyd K. Packer, the Atonement leaves no marks, no scars. 

Exodus 30:6 - Prayer 

6 And thou shalt put it before the veil that is by the ark of the testimony, before the mercy seat that is over the testimony, where I will meet with thee.

7 And Aaron shall burn thereon sweet incense every morning: when he dresseth the lamps, he shall burn incense upon it.

8 And when Aaron lighteth the lamps at even, he shall burn incense upon it, a perpetual incense before the Lord throughout your generations.

Prayer is before the face of the Lord (v. 6); we should pray every morning (v. 7); and have a prayer in our hearts (v. 8). Those who care for us (the High Priest, Prophets, the Savior), pray for us. Prayer can be perpetual, if we have a prayerful attitude of always conversing with God. 

Exodus 30:10 - Blood 

10 And Aaron shall make an atonement upon the horns of it once in a year with the blood of the sin offering of atonements: once in the year shall he make atonement upon it throughout your generations: it is most holy unto the Lord.

The Atonement is wrought by blood, making the repeated mention of blood in the Gospel of John extremely impactful. 

Exodus 30:20, 21 - Our God is Everlasting Burnings

20 When they go into the tabernacle of the congregation, they shall wash with water, that they die not; or when they come near to the altar to minister, to burn offering made by fire unto the Lord:

21 So they shall wash their hands and their feet, that they die not: and it shall be a statute for ever to them, even to him and to his seed throughout their generations.

Our God is holy and pure; the impure and unholy perish in His presence. They cannot bear to be there; for their guilt is as a fire in their bosom. Our God is "everlasting burnings;" He is like a fire, pure and powerful. 

Exodus 32:26 - Who's on the Lord's Side?

26 Then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, Who is on the Lord’s side? let him come unto me. And all the sons of Levi gathered themselves together unto him. 

Those who are "on the Lord's side" will always gather round His prophet, cloaked with priesthood power (represented by the Levite priests). 

Exodus 32:30 - Foreshadowing

30 ¶And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses said unto the people, Ye have sinned a great sin: and now I will go up unto the Lord; peradventure I shall make an atonement for your sin.

This verse is a powerful precursor to the actual Atonement of Jesus Christ. Moses' actions foreshadow those of the Savior, as he intercedes for his people, and spares them the justice of God by making mercy possible.

Haiku

I love haiku, so I was pleased to find this old assignment for a Japanese class. 




Tanka

Japanese

5 Hoshi, tsunagu

(Stars, holding hands)

7 Santa Kuroozu

(Santa Clause)

5 Kido ranpu

(Bright lamps)

7 Boku ichi tanka

(My first tanka)

7 Sore koumyou.

(That is hope.)




English

5 The stinging drilling

7 That horrid gagging feeling

5 The gurgle mouth wash

7 The true price of eating sweets

7 The dreaded fear – dentist’s chair













Haiku

Japanese

5 Koishi tsuya

(Pebbles’ luster)

7 Namiutsu kagami

(Rippling mirror)

5 Nango kawa

(A babbling river)




English

5 Playful balls of yarn

7 Scratches on brand new curtains

5 Kitten’s furry paws.

1st Grade Mistakes

This is from an old school assignment I stumbled on while searching through old files.

Prompt: Many people believe that mistakes are an important teacher. We learn by doing, and we often learn most by doing things imperfectly the first time. Write an essay about a time you learned something through making a mistake. Narrate the event clearly and interestingly. Be sure to express your thoughts about learning through making mistakes.


The young boy gasped and threw his arm out behind him to break his fall… an action that would hold disastrous consequences. Across the playground, small children screamed and ran around, playing games like “Hide and Seek” and “Lava Monster”, while the poor child lay on the ground, cradling his injured limb.

Only a half hour earlier, an open blue sky, with a bright, shining sun had ushered in the awaited recess hour, and the children had run out of the cafeteria as if it’d been in flames. This young boy had been playing on the hang gliders with his friends, when they had suddenly left him, for reasons only they can fathom. He had decided, in what may have perhaps been a moment of folly, to jump down himself, without the aid of his friends. He confidently let go of the warm metal bar and let himself drop the half-foot or so down to the metal platform (which rested another half-foot above the ground). However, instead of his feet landing solidly on the ancient metal, the swished through the air for a moment and he realized that he was falling. His momentum in letting go of the flying blue metal had left him in a position where he could not simply land on his feet, and he knew that he was going to hit the ground. Hard. And so, in a desperate bid to keep himself from any grievous injury, he had pushed his arm behind him. This turned out to be a poor decision, and years later he would berate himself for that decision. As he grew older, he realized that he could’ve simply let himself hit the ground. He would’ve sniffled a bit over his sore butt, and then he could’ve stumbled off after his friends.

But, only being in first grade, he did not know this. Instead, he hit the ground with his arm at an awkward angle, which resulted in an extremely painful collision with the ground. “Ouch” didn’t even begin to cover it. He sat on the ground, his poor arm throbbing in pain, and tried to stand up. He heard the recess whistle blow, and tried once more to get up so that he could get in line to go back inside and resume class, only to fall back onto his butt. He held his arm at his side, careful not to move it, as he had learned that moving it caused him excruciating pain. Without the use of his arms, getting off the ground was impossible.

A teacher, perhaps irate that this young boy had not gotten in line, and was still dawdling on the playground, or possibly concerned about the child’s pale face, walked over to the boy and helped him get up. As she pulled the boy to his feet, she must’ve noticed how he gingerly protected his left arm. She waved to the other teacher, her hand intimating to her that she could bring the other children, gawking at the poor boy with the injured arm, inside to resume their classes. The compassionate teacher brought the boy to the front of the school, their shoes clacking on the linoleum floor. The trip was mostly silent, with the teacher expressing concern about the boy, who was deathly pale. The boy was quiet, only saying that he was okay. Despite the fact that this was obviously untrue, the teacher did not press him.

They entered the office silently. The attendants, seeing the boy quiet, which was a new thing for everyone, immediately stood up and questioning the boy’s escort. She shushed them with the authority of a teacher who was used to the curiosity of small children, and simply asked if the nurse was in. One of the more level-headed workers, realizing the seriousness of the situation at the boy’s face, which was white as a sheet of clean paper, directed the kind teacher to the nurse’s office, declaring that she could see the boy.

Throughout this entire episode, the boy had spoken little, and was wrapped up in his thoughts and pains. Every time his arm was pressed against his side, or jostled a bit too much, pain infiltrated his mind, like a blade digging into his skin, and then pushing deeply. This unfortunate boy, when not concerned about his arm, worried about another thing, which was the newness of the situation he was in. The only times he went to the office was the rare occasions when there was something there for him, or during the annual checkups with the nurse, to check hearing and sight. This child worried, in the naïve way that children do that he was in terrible trouble. He was too scared to think that the adults surrounding him were actually worried about him.

He calmed down upon entering the nurse’s office, finally realizing he wasn’t in trouble. The nurse ran through some basic flexibility tests with this boy. The nurse quickly saw that the boy had broken his arm in his unlucky fall, and that he would require more serious aid than an elementary school nurse could provide. She laid the child down upon a cot, giving him some ice, which burned at first, then brought his arm to a comforting numbness. The child would remain there for the remainder of his time at school that day, alone, save for the nurse, and the occasional teacher or office attendant who would check in upon him, and once, the principal, showing concern for the student under his care. The boy’s mother, most likely very worried from the nurse’s phone call, arrived quickly and brought the child to the doctor’s, noting, as the nurse and teacher had, how carefully he protected the arm, like a mother with her baby.

All involved with the boy would later find that the child had broken his arm, rather severely for the short distance he fell. The next few months would be painful and new for the boy, whose arm was now trapped in a dull white cast, which would later be replaced with a shorter, less restrictive neon green one.

That day, and the months that followed, taught me about the importance of making the right choice quickly. Casting my arm behind me was a foolish thing to do, and I paid for that mistake in the months that followed. I needed help with basic activities, like eating and writing, and during recess I remained inside and read. Although in this case the mistake was partially caused by youthful naivety, many mistakes in life are caused by a lack of thought, which also played into the breaking of my bones. Every time I recall this episode in my life, I am embarrassed by how idiotic of me it had been to put my arm behind me. Indeed, I cannot even recall what I had thought at the time. That wasn’t even my only mistake. I could’ve easily called out to my friends for help, but I chose not to. A lot of time in life, people choose to do things on their own. Whether they believe that no one would help them, or that they don’t need help, they choose to go it alone. That is something that we should never be afraid to do: ask for help. There are people in our lives whose sole purpose is to help us, teachers and parents being prime examples. That being said, mistakes will happen regardless and we must do our best to learn from them. It is my belief that there are two kinds of “trials” in our lives; trials that we bring upon ourselves, through our mistakes, and other’s, and trials that are sent by God to help us grow and become better. I do believe that we have a loving Heavenly Father who wishes for us to grow and progress. To help us, he sends us these trials, to teach us and strengthen us. It’s a bit like the saying “whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”.

Joy, love, and loss while on my mission

*Last month was the anniversary of my maternal grandmother's death. I don't remember exactly which day it was; but I do remember the exact day I learned about it. It was the day before Mother's Day; and I found out while in the midst of preparing for a fireside the missionaries were putting on, to help inform and excite people about missionary work. While going through old planners, I found a transcript of the remarks I made that day. It was brief, but I felt it was important to share this completely honest statement I made about missionary work, mere hours after receiving life-changing news.

The joy of missionary work is people -- God's children. That joy comes from relationships. I'm glad that I can be here in Korea, because I've had so many chances to meet new people and form new relationships. Relationships give us the chance to sacrifice, forgive, and love -- chances to become more like Christ. Learning to love without motivation or reward is a huge blessing. Love -- charity -- is God's central attribute. When we learn charity, we become a little better, and come to experience a bit of the joy God has.
In one of my favorite movies, Les Miserables, there's a song that teaches this. It says, "To love another person is to see the face of God." Joy comes from love. On my mission I have learned to love like never before, and I am so grateful.
I would like to share one scripture about the love that I want to achieve while I'm here: the love I want to share with everybody.

45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—

47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
(Moroni 7:45-47)

On Mother's Day, missionaries are allowed to Skype home and talk with their families for an hour. This morning, I called my parents to let them know when I would Skype them. They said that something had happened. I called my mission president, and after a moment of silence he informed me that my maternal grandmother had unexpectedly passed away. I was allowed to call my family again and talk to them for a little bit. Right before we finished our conversation, my mom asked me how I felt. I told her that I wanted to help people. I wanted to do what Jesus would do. I wanted to think about others, and do things for others. That is the joy of missionary work. Christ told His Apostles,

24 . . . If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
(Matthew 16:24-26)

I know that is true. It is my choice to be here, it is my choice to serve, and it is a choice I am proud of. I know that Jesus Christ lives, and through Him all men will live again. Because of Him, death does not last, and families can be eternal. There are no goodbye's in Heavenly Father's plan; only temporary pauses and everlasting beginnings. I love this country, and I love this people. I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve you. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Reckless

Each week I face the thorn trees, and a part of me can't help but be exhilarated as I put my arm in front of my face, and dare to hope a few of the thorns catch. For a long time, injuries have been my way of gauging performance.
One thing I re-learn about myself each week is that I am far more reckless with my body than I used to be. When I was younger, I was very particular about my clothing and body. If clothes were wet, they needed to be switched. If there was a stain, they needed to be changed. I was really careful, and never engaged in risky behavior (ironically, that did nothing to prevent 3 broken arms).
Fast forward to my mission, as my trainer and I warm up on a soccer field. The ball whooshes past me, and Elder Westbrook goes racing after it. I can tell by his grin that he's not going to stop, even though I'm directly between him and the ball. A moment later, I'm tumbling on the ground. I manage to turn my fall's momentum, and use it to roll and kneel. Elder Westbrook pulls me to my feet, grinning from ear to ear. It's contagious, and I find myself smiling too. "Whoa, tiger!" He exclaims. "I wasn't expecting that from you, big guy. Normally people like you are afraid to get touchy feely."
I remember the feeling of pride that swelled within me when he said that. I subverted his expectations. I astonished him. And I noticed, that I was tracking my diligence in sports by whether or not I ended up on the ground. If I got hurt, then I knew I was giving my all, and I could feel good about the game.
I still have that habit, and it may be bleeding into my work. I'm not afraid to get hurt. I'm not afraid of the trees that pull my skin, the branches that punch my shoulders, or the bushes that claw my legs. If I get hurt, it just shows I'm committed. As I've gotten older, I've become more reckless, and I think I'm okay with that.

Haircuts

I had an epiphany earlier as I sat in the hair salon. I can't recall ever liking a haircut, and today I realized why. I don't remember the last time I looked at my face and appreciated it. The fact is, I haven't liked my facial structure since I was a Freshman and oh so thin. I would trade a lot of things to have that body right now. Muscle is nice, but my gut constantly worries me. I'm on a banana diet, and I'm hoping it'll change things. I also hope that as time passes I'll get more comfortable with my hairstyles. I think that there's a part of me that feels if I don't look attractive to myself, I certainly don't look that way to anybody else. And why not? If I can't appreciate me, who else can?

Dumped

I hate the word "dumped." It's such an obvious indicator of how we feel when a relationship ends. What do we dump? Garbage at worst, burdens at best. And none of us deserve to believe we're garbage, or a burden.
"I was dumped." A phrase that's absolutely brutal in its evaluation, and unrelenting in its self-deprecatingly honest self-assessment.
You feel like trash when somebody breaks off a relationship with you. No matter how many "It's not your faults" or "it's not you, it's ______" there are, you'll still feel responsible. After all, you'll likely think, it's because of you they're ending things. It's an unhealthy pattern of thinking. It magnifies flaws and focuses on weaknesses. Worse, it assigns potential blame to oneself.
I know that whenever I tell somebody "when I was dumped," I feel a kick of sadness. It's a put-down, no way around it.  And for some people, myself included, there's nothing you want to do more than put yourself down when you lose something you held precious.